You worry that you are too sensitive: The person minimizes hurtful behaviors or words by saying “I was just joking" or "you need thicker skin.".You feel confused: The behavior of the person gaslighting you confuses you, almost as if they are Dr.You are disappointed in yourself and who you have become: For instance, you feel like you are weak and passive, and that you used to be stronger and more assertive.Sometimes, you even find yourself repeating these statements to yourself. You wonder if you are what they say you are: The person who gaslights you says words make you feel like you are wrong, unintelligent, inadequate, or insane.This makes you feel trapped and isolated. You feel alone and powerless: You are convinced that everyone around you thinks you are "strange," "crazy," or "unstable," just like the person who is gaslighting you says you are.You also feel on edge and lack self-esteem. You feel vulnerable and insecure: You often feel like you "walk on eggshells" around your partner, friend, or family member.You question your judgment and perceptions: You are afraid of speaking up or expressing your emotions. You have learned that sharing your opinion usually makes you feel worse in the end, so you stay silent instead.You doubt your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself that the treatment you receive is not that bad or that you are too sensitive.In a way, the phrase gaslit, gatekept and girlbossed its way into modern vernacular. “Live, laugh, love” became satirical over the years, but “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” has always been a joke. There’s something inspiring about being so villainous in such a modern way. Someone who gaslights, gatekeeps and girlbosses is the perfect target of Gen Z disdain, but that disdain is so pure, it’s almost good.īringing these three words together celebrates the female scammers we’ve grown to have complicated love/hate relationships with, like fictional manipulator Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, Instagram try-hard Caroline Calloway, convicted fraudster Anna Delvey and disgraced tech pioneer Elizabeth Holmes. The three G’s encapsulate what young internet users hate the most, and that’s why we love it The 2010s girlboss movement, still embraced by some Millennials as “ cheugy,” has been teased into oblivion. These days, it’s not necessarily a good thing to be a girlboss, but it’s also a joke. We shouldn’t act like it’s unusual if a woman has power, and turning everything pink and flowery to appeal to women can be “ sexist and demeaning.” Other critics of the word “girlboss” say it’s needlessly gendered “ patronizing” - women who are bosses are just bosses. Hanna’s “creating conflict out of thin air” and beefing “with everyone she’s ever interacted with” gave off an air of “taking back her power,” as a so-called girlboss does in this day and age. TikTok user identified a recent example of being a “girlboss” or “girlbossification” in the reemergence of Gabbie Hanna, a Vine star turned YouTuber who, after months of relative silence, spent several days calling out critics of her 2017 poetry book.
Being a “girlboss” in the early 2010s was considered a good and impressive thing, but now, Gen Z considers it a “cringe” sign of trying too hard to further oneself. Someone who gaslights and gatekeeps generally isn’t a great person, which is why the inclusion of “girlboss” in the phrase is so interesting. In the same way, the term’s popularization makes the behavior easier to call out. Gatekeeping, like gaslighting, is a term that describes a manipulative behavior made popular on the internet. There’s a whole gatekeeping subreddit dedicated to calling out this behavior. If a punk music fan tells you that you can’t wear that shirt if you can’t name five Nirvana songs, that’s gatekeeping. Gatekeeping is, according to Urban Dictionary, “when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity.” It’s used to make the gatekeeper feel superior to others on the outside or more deserving of an identity.įor instance, maybe you’re wearing a Nirvana shirt from Urban Outfitters. “Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” doesn’t encourage gaslighting - it pokes fun at people who do, and thus makes it easier to identify and destigmatizes calling it out. She identified this to her audience as gaslighting, and she told In The Know that it helped her audience realize that exact thing had been happening to them, though they didn’t know what to call it.
#Gaslight definition update#
Update your settings here to see it.įor instance, in December, TikToker Dana Pizzarelli went viral for calling out her boyfriend who denied doing something she saw happen with her own eyes. This content is not available due to your privacy preferences.
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